Griffin's Journey

Yesterday was a hard day.  Griffin had an appointment at the Animal Medical Center for his next round of chemo (Doxorubicin).  Last week I had noted a new small, hard nodule on Griffin’s ribcage and during the physical exam, the oncology team noted another one in his armpit.  They aspirated both, and while the ribcage one was benign (fat), the armpit one was deemed “sarcoma” by the pathologist.  Chest x-rays revealed that existing lung tumors have grown larger and new ones are present since his last set of radiographs that were taken on September 26, 2020.  While Griffin completed only one round of Doxorubicin 3 weeks ago after we stopped Palladia, the oncology team determined that it is not working.  We have decided to resume Piroxicam and will be starting a new metronomic chemotherapy drug called Cyclophosphamide.

This was not the post I was planning to write because the last 2 weeks have been great.  Griffin is eating regularly, has great energy, walks over 1 mile each day, and stopped losing hair.  He resolved his aural hematoma on his own, which avoids a surgical procedure.  And most exciting, the Yale clinical trial vets contacted me last week to say that Griffin was producing antibodies in response to the vaccine.  So, this post should have been one celebrating successes, and instead it is overshadowed by his cancer spreading.

Yesterday was a hard day, and we woke up to a rainy morning today, which seemed appropriate for my mood.  But living in NYC means there is no opening a back door to let Griffin out, and so I dragged myself into the shower and debated how long of a walk we would take.  I wasn’t really up for our regular 2-mile walk, but that’s usually when I need them the most.  After briefly arguing with myself that the wagon would survive getting soaked and I would not melt from the rain, Griffin and I donned our raincoats, I grabbed my coffee, and out we went into the raw, wet morning.  As we walked, I watched Griffin follow his regular routine of sniffing and peeing everywhere before his tank ran dry.  I watched him bouncing energetically and easily catch himself when he slid on wet leaves.  I watched him look for his best friend Murphy when we arrived at the park and then head down our usual path when his friend was not found.  I watched him gleefully run and roll in the wet grass over and over again, not caring how dirty or wet he got.  I watched Griffin be wholly and enthusiastically present in the moment, making his own fun and in the process, bringing me joy as he has done each day of his life.

Yesterday was a hard day, but I was reminded by Griffin’s surgeon that he is a fighter.

Yesterday was a hard day, but Griffin has the support of an amazing oncology team.

Yesterday was a hard day, but Griffin is still happily by my side.

Yesterday was a hard day, but we are not out of options.

Yesterday was a hard day, but today I choose joy.